and then our exile

despite all, this visceral and perhaps grim optimism will shine through. this, i think, an ultimate choice - the use thereof.

if anyone's going to the mce over the next few days, can they please check to see if a jacket is hanging in the lobby? it is dark green, and there is a golf ball in one pocket, and some gloves in another. (it is the only place it could be, have narrowed options.) i often forget where things are, though not in an absolutist sense. i maintain a vague sense of togetherness because there are only five places i keep my wallet, for example, but won't usually be able to pinpoint which of these it is actually at, for a given moment.

a familiar lightheadedness, now. too many things over the past few days - not external, but other. parallels, and different streams of existence, calling, then recurring fatigue.

today went skiing for the first time in two years.

uthman is the most something Child i have ever known. please everyone to make du'a for him, he is so beautiful, it is such an ugly world he is growing into.

read a post a while back on the ipod generation. for my own spin on that, i think we are extremely horizontal people, so that even knowledge of depth's existence has become superficial. to some extent. so, the only escape from this samsara and alienation is firm foundations, something we "will" work on, "once we get a breathing space". the system itself is set up to avoid this breathing space, though, so here perhaps is the crux. delicate elusive balance. babaji talks of the need to unlearn everything we learn.

am getting more interested in gabriel marcel. also, i think the entire semester can be called: The Fideistic Semester. i will break down every decision, choice, or attitude into some form of kierkegaard's mount moriah. instead of writing papers for classes, i'm rewriting the same idea into different contexts. it's quite funny (or would be, if i finish said papers within time).

if we're going to ottawa in a week i need to know more about cuba's policies than i do. in fact, taqa and i haven't even written our position papers. it is like we are brave, or daring, or dashing.