and then our exile

Alrighty-ho. So. i am not arrested. Yet. Everywhere is quiet but for John M*yer and the distant rumble of the train beyond Wye. Noor reads in her room, Babaji is for TO, Ammi and Usman asleep. Soon will iA be 'isha, and then fajr, and so it goes... every single, individual moment fatal witness to interminable suicide and horror. The past few days have been...interesting, if you're into the whole objectivist rationalistic analytic deal.

Generally speaking, past time is mostly "just...i don't know, i'm just exhausted, not sleepy as such but tired tired tired, emotionally mentally and somewhat physically, and spiritually i am desert wasteland. desensitizededly-apathetic, but malcontent at same time. ... i think another part of it is of snarking at images i think are portrayed to different people, or that even people themselves are tiring too, and i want to find me a niche of Absolutely Nothing and burrow into it and not come out for a while...except even there, i can't trust myself to change anything, so frustrate." Yeah.

First in Saskatoon, and i'll iron out thoughts on that with scanned pictures. Other scheduled-posts for sometime include deconstructing JohnM's sarcasm / raving about Usman and how he is oh-so-oh / Muslim philosotheology / Amerikkka Bleeding-Hard / a coherent continuation of ongoing discussions with James on life and futility and whether there is any meaning in this grande mess.

In random recentness, you will know how it's been so long of three or so hours of sleep caught on the carpet next to this desk or in this chair--but last night on the musalla i slept eleven hours straight. Aiee. This craziness will stop in two weeks. Promise.

Today was also maddness. First i heard Ph-R-D's voice in for real, and then became a Majick Ninja. And all this baking going on, and Usman. We should probably apologize, that our affected affections involve (wo)man-handling and water, but meh. And never did half of cooked-brewed plans. Hm. For nexters. Har-lar. (double-entendre, get it? hm.) But i think overall it was nice.

Oh, and by the way, Muntaka Sh*h is a bloody tyrannical despot in disguise, a crazy mofo, an EO-lamenting fish-eating AIYC-dominating university-grieving oppressional oppressor and repressional repressor, suppressional suppressor / chokingly fascistic autocrat / Establishment-embracing bootlicking authoritarian--in short, an Iron Fist clos'ed-minded and unopen to tolerance and understanding.

More later. i find i turn more and more eskapist when it comes to unadulterated horror, or even responsibilities of small sort... bleak contours with soft edges yet gripping scar-futures.

(As a last note, the change in TSEliot-stanza on the left isn't the only templateness-update: the relatively new LurkSmirkStalkWatch is relatively self-explanatory. And, even though i've linked to him for a while, [Mark] at [Rafahkid] is goode enough to link over this way, so it is only the bounds of manly chivalry to aim you who read this [thatawae].)