and then our exile

it is a season for walks in drizzling rain, cups of dark tea alone in empty kitchens. skies are perpetually grey, they brood and break constantly, releasing misting waters.

i'm claiming some alone-time.

an ex cathedra demand. i'll post again in late july, Lord willing, to assure you-all i haven't been skewered by the hordes of radical feministas. after that i'll maybe start posting with the new school year. will try to have actual topics for things, productive, instead of what's mostly become the preservation of random. "taxidermy of the heart", the breakdown of gallantry (where'd all the good people go).

"is it irony if no one knows it's irony?"
"yes."

this page began way-back-when, rooq-dogg and vague acquaintances from high school were its only readers.
that phase fell away quickly.
then, months later, lara started a page like this, i restarted, it is by now a (non-quebecois) quiet revolution (ph-r-d, taqaji, s, zalkhatib, j, faraz, james, all the rest have arrived on the scene).

or, how audience has changed: watching statcounter recently, what initially was an intermedium, intermediary, between people who - at the least - knew each other is now an open field where google searches on associates and links from steps removed now are portals of grace. and, though it never was a teenage-angst pouring out of anxious sorrows, maybe now - given that CSIS has already had chance to misconstrue things (this post) - is a good time to take pause.

the same old questions about mandate. "mandates are overrated". except when posts naturally form unintentional entendres and monologues to departing air, it is more about the "single selfish moment for the single selfish" than any particular actual Thing. (cue mandate, if there were one. from Sham it at least made sense.)

the simple facts, to carry the world through and over. reconstruction, yaa sattaar.

j told me from amreeka: "remember to do lots of dhikr, and your soul just might make it through." he was talking about univar's'ty, but here now the 'school of life'.

at least i can say this is probably the only place where joni mitch*ll and cat st*vens lyrics have shared space with rilke, railing against secularism, ahadith (uniqueness, a failing arrogance).

two last links: hurrah for the belgian justice minister and faraz is a believer.

...two more things: beethovan's sixth soars, is very beautiful. and george winston's piano solos are full, instill quiet.

so very little left to say until we begin to repeat.

"you know what i would say."